W

My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific.
--George w. Bush

Tokyo
02/18/2002
someone apparently forgot about a little something called World War II

Gotsta go

I simply have to go to the beach, I've had dreams about going for a while now. So I think I will ask for a 4 day weekend in january and make a road-trip out of it!

Finals

I am sick of studying (which is sad because I've not done much of it). I have theories of personality this afternoon at 5. Art history (I'm screwed) tomorrow at 8, then west civ at 10 (I'm screwed again) and then research psych at 3. Tons of fun! I'm guessing I'll have B's in all of my classes except the two history ones which I'll likely get C's (hopefully). Back to procrastinating.

Beer

Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alchool, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Forget the caffe latte,
screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, Your songs resolve like
my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with
nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
Would you please ignore that you
found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

Would you please forgive me
Would you please forgive me

Funny and Cool

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

--Regina Spektor "Samson"

Awesomeness

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/2891/

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/mugs/27f9/

42

Future

Don't let it get you down though, someday, through a willful onslaught of reinterpretation of dated forms and ideas, you will strike on something that passes as remotely new, and people WILL be into it on the basis of how hip it is alone. Also, the average espresso drinker looks up to you. Friedrich Nietzsche 100% Miyamoto Musashi 83% Dante Alighieri 67% Stephen Hawking 58% C.G. Jung 58% Mother Teresa 42% Jesus Christ 33% O.J. Simpson 33% Steven Morrissey 33% Sigmund Freud 25% Charles Manson 25% Adolf Hitler 17% Elvis Presley 0% Hugh Hefner 0% What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com

What an interesting thought, me as Nietzsche. Anyway, before I happened across that survey I decided to write about why I think about endings the way I do. I've known for quite some time that if I am going to end up like my dad, it should happen by the time I'm around 25, 4 more years. As a result of knowing that I may lose all of my connection to reality, I've decided that I want to live my life so that if I were to develop schizophrenia that my life up until that point would be a full one. I don't want to look back and regret anything; I want these years to be full of happy memories to take the place of the memories I don't have from childhood.

"I hear you talk about your family life, I wish I knew just what that means" -- Staind
I find myself doing just that at times, because it's as though my life before 7th grade was left in a closet full of moths. Recently I found out in my theories of personality class that relationships (of all kind) are formed and strengthened by mutual disclosure, the act of sharing information about one's life with another person and them doing the same. That would partly explain why I have a hard time forming and maintaining close relationships; I simply don't have a lot of stuff to share. Part of what the experiment showed was that if during mutual disclosure one party shares something much more personal than has been the case up to that point, the other party almost invariably begins to respond with increasingly less personal information. The things I have to share with others are either superficial, or mostly very personal.

I have no problem sharing personal information like that, but in line with the experiment, most of the time when I have I did so too early in the relationship and as a result the other person retreated to some extent.

Quote

To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser. - Robertson Davies

The difference

When someone is made privy to the knowledge that something they love, be it a relationship or themselves, is going to be coming to an end in the foreseeable future there are two basic reactions that they can take. The first, which most of us are guilty of, is deep regret and sorrow. Take, for example, the line from Fight Club, "This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time." Most people find this a very depressing thought, that slowly their life, and everything they know and love, is slowly but surely approaching an end. The other possible reaction, as far as I can see, is happiness. You may be wondering how anyone of sound mind can possibly find such an idea to be anything but depress, and I admit that some of those who would find comfort in the idea that their life is ending are likely to be overwhelmingly depressed. However, it is possible for a sane person (at least I should hope I am a sane person, at least relatively) to find a measure of happiness in the knowledge of an impending end. If I were to find out that I would be meeting my end 5 years from now, I would find it as an excuse to never do anything that I found unpleasant. I would truly be alive; I would travel everywhere I've ever wanted; I would have motivation to do all the things I've ever wanted to. The same would be true if my timeframe were more limited as well, say the end of next summer, or even next week. But in the extremely short timeframe of a week I wouldn't be able to accomplish nearly as much, so I would be quite sad, but not nearly as sad as if I hadn't known it was coming, or if I had given up on living as soon as I found out.

My point in all of this is that we are so rarely given the blessing of knowing when everything is going to end, and so we go about living under the illusion that we are going to live forever. I say open your eyes, life is beautiful! Live life like each day is your last, and make plans like it is never going to end (I think that line belongs to james dean?). Go out and enjoy what you have while you can, and do it wearing a smile!

I got new music: "Christabel and the Jons: Love & Circumstances" What a wonderful album! Since it is such a beautiful sunny day, I'm going to go enjoy it!




Mr. T
"I pity the fool"

Here be my first post, for rizzle