Introspection

[emo]

It would appear that there is a vast disparity between the way I see myself, and the way everyone else sees me. My internal self and social self have developed a bit of a schism. I've never been really able to see how others see me, and I doubt it's just a me thing, but I've been far too long without people to act as a social mirror. I realize I'm a quiet person, but it seems like I'm too easily forgettable to most people. I realize I'm being emo, or whatever, and I really hate when I get like this, but it's apparently who I am. I'm tired of keeping everything inside, so I'm getting this out there on the interwebs, where I doubt anyone will read (makes sense, huh?). I tell myself I should accept the life I have, but I hate it. I know I shouldn't care too much what people think, but I do right now. I also really hate when people go on complaining like this as though they have it so horribly bad. I realize I have a great life. I have a lot of friends who care about me, I'm not destitute, life really is good. This must sound bipolar, but I'm a gemini, welcome to my hell. I feel so alone and I'm tired of it. It's quite likely that it's just me not recognizing what and who I have. I know they're there, but they feel so distant to me. I doubt it's them being distant. I'm sure it's really just me being aloof, but I'm trying really hard.


[/emo whinings]